Still judging.... back after a break

I took a two week unscheduled break from vaping for numerous reasons. One of the main reasons was that I was attending a hospital appointment to discuss anaesthesia for my potential weight loss surgery and in my head, I didn’t want them to think I smelled of weed and think differently about me. So I guess that means that my whole ‘judge not’ thing hasn’t worked it’s way out of my brain yet.

Unfortunately, it seems to have meant that my sleep has been absolutely awful – some nights, no sleep whatsoever, other nights a couple of hours before I wake up around 5 a.m. and can’t get back to sleep. I talked to Stripes about it and she suggested I try vaping again just to see if I could get a good night’s sleep.

So Sunday, Mother’s Day in the UK, I decided I would give it a go. I had what smelled like Big Narstie Moroccan Peaches in my Mighty that had been lightly vaped, so I decided to finish the bowl.

No word of a lie, within ten minutes I was out for the count and I didn’t wake up until around 7 a.m. and I was still high. I vaguely remember having a chat with Stripes and having to force myself to concentrate because otherwise I was speaking so fast I felt like I was incomprehensible. Then last night, I decided to see how the Sourdough would help. On the one hand, I was awake from 5 a.m. again and unable to get back to sleep. On the other hand, I did go to sleep just before 10.30 p.m. so that was nearly 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep so I can’t really complain.

I think I need to take it slow and try not to fall too deeply into it again. Partly because, as I think I mentioned before, my PIP is up for renewal and if I don’t get it again, I won’t be able to afford a lot of the Medicinal cannabis so I don’t want to get to the stage where I’m completely dependent on it in order to sleep. I also decided not to order any this month, which my wallet is thanking me for because £200 isn’t a small amount of money.

I guess if push comes to shove, I could ask Stripes to use the AVB to make brownies or cookies and use those to get to sleep? That way I can still use it but not have to worry too much about buying so much of it. Something to think about, although then I’d have to think about brownies vs cookies and what that might do to my weight loss efforts. Hmm.